Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 1)

Cradle of Hope: (episode 4)
No Babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Prometheus: (episode 8)
Iolaus was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live long and prosperous lives.

Death in Chains: (episode 9)
No Jumbo Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Hooves and Harlots: (episode 10)
No Males, Centaurs or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts: (episode 12)
No oversized Polynesian-Style Bamboo Horse were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives.

A Fistful of Dinars: (episode 14)
No Ambriosa was Spilled, Spoiled or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of Marshmallows)

Warrior... Princess: (episode 15)
Neither Xena or her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Mortal Beloved: (episode 16)
No Harpies were harmed or sent to a fiery grave during the production of this motion picture.

Royal Couple of Thieves: (episode 17)
No Ancient and Inflexible Rules governing moral behavior were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Prodigal: (episode 18)
Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Corousing Warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the poduction of this motion picture.

Altered States: (episode 19)
No Unrelenting or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production pf this motion picture.

Ties that Bind: (episode 20)
No Fathers, Spiritual or Biological, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Greater Good: (episode 21)
Excessive Belching can cause brain damage and social ostracism. Kids, don't give in to peer pressure. Play it safe.

Callisto: (episode 22)
Joxer's nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severly damaged.

Death Mask: (episode 23)
No messenger doves were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several are reportedly missing in action and search-and-rescue efforts are under way.

Is There a Doctor in the House?: (episode 24)
Being that war is hell, lots of people were harmed during the poduction of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make believe, all causualties removed their prosthetic make-up and went home unscathed).