Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 2)

Orphan of War: (episode 1)
No Steazy Warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixers that turn them into scaly centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Remember Nothing: (episode 2)
Xena's memory was not damaged...
... What was I saying?

The Giant Killer: (episode 3)
No Bible myths or icon were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: (episode 4)
No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Driads lost their heads.

Return of Callisto: (episode 5)
Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables.

Warrior... Princess... Tramp...: (episode 6)
Neither Xena nor her remarkably coïncidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.

Intimate Stranger: (episode 7)
Argo was not harnmed during the production of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena.

Ten Little Warlords: (episode 8)
No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.

A solsrice Carol: (episode 9)
Sentieles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.

The Xena's Scrolls: (episode 10)
No Hollywood Producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Destiny: (episode 12)
Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers deny responsability for any unfortunate acts of betrayal occuring soon thereafter.

The Quest: (episode 13)
Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolcus to get his swagger back.

A Necessary Evil: (episode 14)
The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherence to an otherwise valid belief system.

A Day in the Life: (episode 15)
No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.

The Execution: (episode 17)
By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back his confortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors.

Blind Fate: (episode 18)
Once again Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Ulysses: (episode 19)
Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses'ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Price: (episode 20)
To show sympathy for the Horde, "kaltaka" was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture.