Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 3)

Furies: (episode 1)
Xena's sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap-dancing variety show off-off-off Broadway soon.

Been There, Done That: (episode 2)
The rooster was not harmed during the production of this motion picture, althought his feathers were severely ruffled. However, a little gel and mousse straightened out the mess.

The Deliverer: (episode 4)
Gabrielle was slightly well-done during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers would like to recommend a zesty barbecue sauce to bring out the full flavour of the episode.

Gabrielle's Hope: (episode 5)
Despite witnessing the bizarre and somewhat disturbing birth or Gabrielle's Hope, no animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Debt: (episode 6)
No Froek Tarts were killed during the production of this motion picture, althought they wish they had been.

The Debt 2: (episode 7)
Xena and Gabrielle's relationship suffered another blow (although Gabrielle doesn't know it yet) during the production of this motion picture.

The King of Assassins: (episode 8)
due to the infliction of a severe wedgie, Joxer was slightly unconfortable but not seriously harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Warrior... Priestess... Tramp: (episode 9)
Despite another Xena look-alike, the gene pool (or rather the gene puddle) was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Maternal Instincts: (episode 11):
Xena and Gabrielle's relationship was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Bitter Suite: (episode 12)
The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In act, the Producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.

One Against an Army: (episode 13)
Gabrielle's ankle was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Forgiven: (episode 14)
No street-talking, cat-fighting, barron-brawling juvenile delinquents were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

King Con: (episode 15)
No Con Men were conned during the production of this motion picture.

When In Rome: (episode 16)
Caesar's Palace was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Crassus and the gladiators went down for the count.

Forget Me Not: (episode 17)
Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during the production of this motion picture.

Fins, Femmes and Gems: (episode 18)
Joxer's dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle's pink nightie waas restored to its original condition.

Tsunami: (episode 19)
No Cast or Crew were singing "Tanks For The Memories" during the production of the motion picture. However, the phrase "Strike The Set" was given new meaning.

Vanishing Act: (episode 20)
Upon completion of the filming of this episode, Autolycus' Scuba Gear was placed on display at the Athens Diving Institute for the education and enjoyment of future generations to come.

Sacrafice: (episode 21)
No Pulsing Cocoon were hatched during the production of this motion picture. What you witnessed was purely a reenactment.

Sacrafice 2: (episode 22)
Gabrielle finally went off the deep during the production of this motion picture.

Citations 1-15 mai

La vie est comme un miroir. Si tu lui souris, elle te renvoie ton image.
- Louis Nucera

On regarde en l'air et l'on ne voit pas ce que l'on a à ses pieds.
- Lucien

Puisqu'on ne peut changer la direction du vent, il faut apprendre à orienter les voiles.
- James Dean

Les folies sont les seules choses qu'on ne regrette jamais.
- Oscar Wilde

Quiconque doit aimer aime à première vue.
- William Shakespeare

A quoi bon soulever des montagnes quand il est si simple de passer par-dessus ?
- Boris Vian


Gracieuseté d'Evene.fr

Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 2)

Orphan of War: (episode 1)
No Steazy Warlords who deem it necessary to drink magic elixers that turn them into scaly centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Remember Nothing: (episode 2)
Xena's memory was not damaged...
... What was I saying?

The Giant Killer: (episode 3)
No Bible myths or icon were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: (episode 4)
No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few Driads lost their heads.

Return of Callisto: (episode 5)
Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables.

Warrior... Princess... Tramp...: (episode 6)
Neither Xena nor her remarkably coïncidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.

Intimate Stranger: (episode 7)
Argo was not harnmed during the production of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena.

Ten Little Warlords: (episode 8)
No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.

A solsrice Carol: (episode 9)
Sentieles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.

The Xena's Scrolls: (episode 10)
No Hollywood Producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Destiny: (episode 12)
Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers deny responsability for any unfortunate acts of betrayal occuring soon thereafter.

The Quest: (episode 13)
Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolcus to get his swagger back.

A Necessary Evil: (episode 14)
The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherence to an otherwise valid belief system.

A Day in the Life: (episode 15)
No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.

The Execution: (episode 17)
By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back his confortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors.

Blind Fate: (episode 18)
Once again Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Ulysses: (episode 19)
Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses'ship was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Price: (episode 20)
To show sympathy for the Horde, "kaltaka" was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture.

The Your Type of Girl Test

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The Girl Next Door

Cute, neither Dark nor Light, and neither Artsy nor Stylish. This sounds like a blah category, right? Oh, my, no. The Girl Next Door has been the subject of more dirty fantasies than you could possibly count. She's so sweet, and innocent, and infinitely corruptible. Every morning you glance out your window hoping she'll have forgotten to draw the blinds. You may feel bad about it, but you know you'll be doing it again tomorrow.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 41% on Sexy-Cute You scored higher than 57% on Dark-Light You scored higher than 41% on Artsy-Stylish

Link: The Your Type of Girl Test written by dgc20e

The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test

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Pure Nerd

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 40% on nerdiness You scored higher than 58% on geekosity You scored higher than 69% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos

The Personality Defect Test

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Emo Kid

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this: life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father. I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Smartass. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 47% on Rationality You scored higher than 45% on Extroversion You scored higher than 9% on Brutality You scored higher than 48% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline

Citations 15-30 avril

Nous sommes des oiseaux de passage, demain nous serons loins.
- Proverbe tzigane

Celui-là seul connaît l'amour qui aime sans espoir.
- Johann Friedrich von Schiller

Il est doux à tout âge de se laisser guider par la fantaisie.
- Marcel Proust

Ce que la bouche s'accoutume à dire, le coeur s'accoutume à le croire.
- Charles Baudelaire

Si la perfection n'était pas chimérique, elle n'aurait pas tant de succès.
- Napoléon Bonaparte

A force de croire dans l'imaginaire, celui-ci devient réel.
- Gary Victor


Gracieuseté d'Evene.fr

Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 1)

Cradle of Hope: (episode 4)
No Babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Prometheus: (episode 8)
Iolaus was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live long and prosperous lives.

Death in Chains: (episode 9)
No Jumbo Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Hooves and Harlots: (episode 10)
No Males, Centaurs or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts: (episode 12)
No oversized Polynesian-Style Bamboo Horse were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives.

A Fistful of Dinars: (episode 14)
No Ambriosa was Spilled, Spoiled or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of Marshmallows)

Warrior... Princess: (episode 15)
Neither Xena or her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Mortal Beloved: (episode 16)
No Harpies were harmed or sent to a fiery grave during the production of this motion picture.

Royal Couple of Thieves: (episode 17)
No Ancient and Inflexible Rules governing moral behavior were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Prodigal: (episode 18)
Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Corousing Warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the poduction of this motion picture.

Altered States: (episode 19)
No Unrelenting or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production pf this motion picture.

Ties that Bind: (episode 20)
No Fathers, Spiritual or Biological, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

The Greater Good: (episode 21)
Excessive Belching can cause brain damage and social ostracism. Kids, don't give in to peer pressure. Play it safe.

Callisto: (episode 22)
Joxer's nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severly damaged.

Death Mask: (episode 23)
No messenger doves were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several are reportedly missing in action and search-and-rescue efforts are under way.

Is There a Doctor in the House?: (episode 24)
Being that war is hell, lots of people were harmed during the poduction of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make believe, all causualties removed their prosthetic make-up and went home unscathed).