06 July, 2007

Xena's "No Harm Done" flavour texts: (season 5)


Fallen Angel: (episode 1)
Hell Hath No Fury like a woman scorned.

Chakram: (episode 2)
Xena's Dark and Violent Past was restored during the production of this motion picture.

Succession: (episode 3)
Ares' libido was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Animal Attraction: (episode 4)
Although The Rabbit Died, No other animals were harmed during the prodution of this motion picture.

Them Bones, Them Bones: (episode 5)
Xena and Alti were Bad To The Bone during the production of this motion picture.

Purity: (episode 6)
To obtain a copy of Joxer's recipe for Moo Shu Sauce and other Chinese delicacies visit your local Bookstore or look for it on the Internet.

Back In The Bottle: (episode 7)
Pao Ssu's split personality was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Little Problems: (episode 8)
No Pie Tins were harmed during the making of Tharon's mask.

Seeds Of Faith: (episode 9)
Thanks to Eli's non-violent ways, many people lost their lives during the production of this motion picture.

Lyre, Lyre, Heart's On Fire: (episode 10)
No Lyres were strung out during the production of this motion picture.

Punch Lines: (episode 11)
Gabrielle and Argo were Shrunk and Permanently Pressed during the production of this motion picture.

God Fearing Child: (episode 12)
Zeus Cashed in his Chips during the production of this motion picture.

Eternal Bonds: (episode 13)
Ares' virility was harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Amphipolis Under Siege: (episode 14)
Post Production was under siege during the production of this motion picture.

Married With Fishsticks: (episode 15)
No Sea Nymphs or other Denizens of the Deep were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Lifeblood: (episode 16)
Warning: The Surgeon General cautions practicing Weird and Grotesque Amazon rituals may be hazardous to your health.

Kindred Spirits: (episode 17)
Many Cinnamon Swirls lost their lifes in the making of Gabrielle's Headdress.

Antony And Cleopatra: (episode 18)
No Rubberized Snakes intent on destroying the Queen of Egypt were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Looking Death In The Eye: (episode 19)
Death almost died during the production of this motion picture.

Livia: (episode 20)
Due to an over abundance of Bean and Bard Burgers, Meg's gastrointestinal problems intensified during the production of this motion picture.

Eve: (episode 21)
Joxer's sudden and unexpected death slowed down his rapid aging process during the production of this motion picture.

Motherhood: (episode 22)
All the Gods were harmed during the production of this motion picture.

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